Sick and tired of being tired and sick

It is attacking me. It is gradually taking over my body and changing my appearance and I have wondered for years now if I was going crazy? I thought I just needed to work harder on my diet and exercise, I thought it was just me getting older. It has weakened me physically and mentally. It has had many many disguises; pre-diabetic, high cholesterol, TMJ, A-typical Meniere's Disease, A-typical migraines, insane weight gain, snoring (sleep apnea), rosacea, blood pressure changes, peri-menopause, unexplained aches and pains, including tinnitus 24/7; electronic shock sensations behind my eyes and in my brain that blur my vision and disorient me when I hear a loud noise, move my eyes or turn my head and a whooshing noise when the electronic shocks zap me; as well as a feeling that I am moving all the time (like in an elevator or on a boat), vertigo, muscle weakness my skin feeling like it is on fire, instantaneously starting to sweat even when it is freezing and I am sitting in a chair doing absolutely nothing. I am so fatigued that I can't even get the energy to make my bed or do the dishes. I am irritable and my mood swings are just crazy!

It has tricked doctors and made me look bad. It is evil and nasty and is stealing my life away from me. What is this horrible monster? Its name is Cushing’s Disease. Rarely diagnosed ... I'm told most doctors will not ever come across a case of it in their careers. Unusually high levels of the hormone cortisol are the telling sign.

It seems this monster has its claws in me. So many doctors in the last six years who haven't listened to me, who haven't read the list of symptoms I give each one of them, who haven't taken notice of a crying patient begging for help. Just a shrug of shoulders over and over and over again saying there was nothing conclusively wrong with me. And now the real battle, getting it fully diagnosed and treated. A doctor finally saw the signs. So here we go. Do I have the strength to get to the other side of a diagnosis after all of this?? ... I just don't know. I'm so tired and sick.

Just a few weeks ago, my internist found abnormal cortisol levels in three different blood tests and believes I have Cushing's Disease. She faxed my file to MD Anderson Cancer Center in Houston on Thursday, November 15th and I now have to wait for them to review my file and wait for them to qualify me for their services.

So there you have the background of this new blog. I wish I had started journaling or blogging years ago as I think it is important to be able to remember the journey. My prayer is that this journey leads to better health and happiness for me and my family!

As to the clever title of my blog (if I do say so myself) - I Ate a Monster Onion... and now look what I look like!!  Just need a few tears falling down and this would be a perfect depiction of me (lol).  I thought the blog title was appropriate as onions have layers and I think a person is like an onion, as is his or her illness. Illnesses have layers, and they are not unlike onion layers.

First of all, look at an onion. Onions come in all sizes and several varieties. There are bitter onions and sweet onions. There are large onions and small onions. There are white onions, red onions and brown onions. Sort of like people, I guess.

Most people believe doctors are “medical detectives.” People develop illnesses, which are like “medical crimes” and the doctor’s job is to solve the crime, make the diagnosis and cure the patient.

I believe doctors are more like onion peelers. The patient presents with an illness, represented by the whole onion and the doctor’s job is to peel the layers of the onion off till he or she gets to the center of the onion where the correct diagnosis is identified and treatment is started.

Wow, have I eaten one seriously massive Monster Onion?!?

Now I seek the other side of a diagnosis and what happens from there. We shall see!